The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The power of my boobs compel you
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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