i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
