I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
