are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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