just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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