We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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