i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
