I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
