Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
