11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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