I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
