she looked like the before picture.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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