sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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