oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
