My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
