It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
