i don't like sucking hair
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
