you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
They are going to name an STD after you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
