you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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