@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
