my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
