you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
