At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
