I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
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