YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
