yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
