I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
