you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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