1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
