hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
