that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
