i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize