Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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