We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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