Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
