i wish starbucks made bloody marys
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
