Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
