Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
