You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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