Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
