Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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