So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
