Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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