Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
