You don't have asthma, your pregnant
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
