Having a random hookup so left but love u
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
