The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
