We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
