the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
