in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
