My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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